Funny Facebook Statuses Revised
Funny Facebook and other social media statuses. During office meetings, tension and pressure can escalate due to demands for performance. It is always a good thing to break the ice in a funny way. Funny Facebook and other social media statuses are an example of breaking the tension. They make colleagues laugh, interact with one another and share the fun. In the article below, some of the funniest statuses that can be used in office meetings are discussed. The article has been created by Roomzilla – the easiest meeting room reservation system.
When you appear late in a meeting hall for an urgent workplace memo, colleagues look at you badly like you had promised them you will be coming with their salary. When you are caught sleeping at work by your boss, just say “In Jesus name, amen”. I really hate weddings, old people would always point at me and say, ‘you’re next’ but they stopped because whenever we go to a funeral, I would point at them and say, ‘you’re next’.
My mother never saw the irony of calling me ‘son of a bitch’. You only know that hell is real when your boss asks you to train your replacement. I gave up on integrity when I realized my boss pastor have an invigilator during leadership exams. You pick a chair to hit the printer with paper jam but you realize it’s a suicidal move – you need the job like you need to breath. If I would go to hell today, it would take me six months to realize that am not in my workplace.
When your boss catches you red handed sleeping, you pretend like you have meditating on how to take that business to the next level. You spend the whole day in the office with the door open and no one shows up, try to fart and 3 colleagues and your boss come entering next to you- you feel like melting. I almost called my boss ‘son of a bitch’ it came out ‘son of a billionaire’ but am on my way home.
I was angry and boss asked me how we can improve the business, I just told him I don’t care so long as I was paid on time. He smiled and asked me to go home right away; I think he liked my joke. I always feel weak knees when I see a snitch colleague looking at me and whispering to the supervisor. Am sure I don’t have freedom because whenever am about to leave office, my boss assigns me more work just to keep me busy.
My supervisor has been asking me ‘late again?’ today I arrived late and he sent me back home, when I enquired why, he said he had promoted me. My boss is very rude, after lunch today he asked me for a glass of water and I asked him ‘for drinking?’ he responded “no, for baptizing my deputy”. When my salary is paid I eat chicken the first week, next week I eat chicken products (eggs), the following weak I eat chicken food (grains) and the last week I eat with chicken.
You can’t date a guy staying with his mother but you can date a colleague who is married; how do you want your thunder? Fried or boiled? Why do employed dating men die faster than women? Because shopping does not cause heart attack but paying that shopping does. You cannot give women everything they need; God gave them eyebrows, they shaved and drew their own. Who are you?
Women love job vacations because they get to show off and wind up. But, until the next vacation, you will see the old images again and again. Am I the only employee in this company who doesn’t know yet what they are doing with their life? I always want to study and improve myself in the office but there is a computer, I want the whole day. I failed for the interview and the boss asked me what I would do; I told him like what I did in the previous interview. He asked what I had done and I replied, “I shot the boss dead” I got hired.
Employees should understand that you cannot be cyber bullied if you don’t have social media, they think everyone can be. Stop claiming that things are very expensive, just be honest and say that you cannot afford, it makes more sense. I almost slapped my boss this evening after he asked me to write a 17 pages audit when he saw me packing to leave for home, I slapped the table anyways.
I miss the 1980s when I could ignore an office call even without knowing who it was. Office work is like Snapchat, you can call many people your friends but it doesn’t mean they call you their friends. All career women want to be treated like an iPhone but they don’t perform like iPhone.
You see a madam you is employed for two years and they say they cannot be dated by their colleague age mate, they want a man who is financially stable yet the madam only has a few instagram likes and a crazy attitude; the thunder that will hit her is doing pushups in heaven.
